In Remembrance There Is Healing
by Miranda le Ginger
Summary: Leliana remembers her love, and moves on. Past F!Cousland/Leliana. Mentions of F!Tabris/Leliana. Written in dedication of the passing of Glee star Cory Monteith; you will be sorely missed.


A/N: I have been studiously working on the final chapter of _Zevran's Journal_ and things are going smoothly, but news of a tragedy Saturday night spurred me to write this one-shot before I continue with the last chapter. This story is dedicated to the passing of Cory Monteith, who played Finn Hudson on the tv series Glee. He was a fantastic actor who died far too young. No matter the reasons for his death, he deserved better. My condolences go out to his family and friends. We miss you, Cory. I hope you find peace in the afterlife.

Disclaimer: I do _**not**_ own Dragon Age: Origins whatsoever. I do not think I could have killed off any of the characters had I done so.

Water lapped softly at the rocky crags that made up Redcliffe Village. The wind, normally blustery and noisy, was remarkably silent and still. A haze of silence seemed to hang over the quaint village, which had prospered greatly after the Blight was ended. A lone figure stood on the newly reconstructed dock, staring out in the direction of Lake Calenhad. The figure was tall and lean, filling out quite nicely in both the hips and chest. The figure, which was discerned as a woman, was dressed simply in a pale blue jerkin, complete with soft leather pants and a pair of boots made from the cheapest of leather materials. A bow was slung across her shoulders, with a sheepskin quiver filled with arrows topped with a variety of bird feathers. Twin daggers were belted at her waist, within reach if quick action was required. Short auburn locks glowed brightly in the blazing sun, and from what skin could be seen, it was a pale alabaster.

Ice blue eyes, once alight with belief and faith and hope was as dull as an unsharpened blade. Her lips were turned down in a frown and just looking at her face could lead you to believe she was utterly heartbroken. Leliana could not remember a time when she was truly happy. No, that's a lie; she knew exactly when. She had been happy when she had been traveling by Reyn's side, determined to help the Grey Warden defeat the archdemon and push the Blight back. Although they were all in very real danger, she could overlook it. All she had eyes for was the enigmatic, red-haired noblewoman-turned-Warden who had kickstarted her dormant and dusty heart and transformed it into something new and great. Reyn had thawed her out and showed her out good and true love could feel. Everything had been going relatively good…until suddenly it wasn't anymore.

Leliana sighed softly, tortured blue eyes closing shut, memories flashing through her mind's eye. This particular moment had been haunting her since it had happened, eating away at her once vibrant dreams and corrupting them as surely as a Darkspawn.

_The air was clouded by darkness; it threatened to engulf all of Ferelden. Copious amounts of flames shot out of everywhere, burning through the once formidable foundation of Denerim. Shouts echoed everywhere, a cacophony of vicious roars and pained screams. All this happened below; they were currently atop Fort Drakon…with the archdemon. The massive dragon was lying on its side, helpless and baring its side, a beacon of where to put a sword blade. Leliana stood a little ways back, sweat and blood mixing together, forming a scent of battle. Her hands were clasped around her daggers. The rest of their companions had fought their way to the top of the fort, and had helped clear out the Darkspawn that Urthemiel had called during the vicious fray. Now at that was left alive was the companions and the beast they had sought to destroy for the span of a year. Alistair raised his weapon, acting as if he was about to charge the prone dragon. However, a gauntlet stopped him. I turned my gaze, looking into the eyes of my beloved. Her face, previously impassive throughout the entire ordeal except for when Riordan was killed, was open. Her eyes held a deep sadness, so much though that it looked irrevocable. Her bright red hair was matted to her head by blood and sweat. It was mussed about, looking like a man. The scar on her tan cheek shone noticeably; a physical manifestation her love for me. She looked tired…so very, very tired. Exhaustion and defeat poured from her very soul, showing itself through her physical actions. The hand on Alistair's sword tightened, lowering the famed blade of the late King Maric. Blue eyes left mine briefly; molten amber and oceanic blue clashed together, a battle of wills obviously commencing before our very eyes. Confusion welled up in me; why would they be communicating silently? Why could Alistair not slay the archdemon? Alistair's eyes seemed plead with my love, asking for the slayer to be him. Reyn nodded her head almost imperceptibly, forestalling any other thoughts from the former templar-in-training. Alistair seemed to deflate, crumpling inside of himself. His sword fell limply from his hand, a show of acquiescence. The man bowed his head, unable to look Reyn in her eyes. The rest of our group looked as lost as I; Wynne looked on in motherly concern, whilst Zevran's mind seemed to race behind his brown eyes. Reyn's faithful Mabari, Raines, whined softly. The rest were just plain befuddled. Morrigan was the only absentee; she had mysteriously left the night before he marched to the gates of Denerim. Good riddance, says I. But that still did not explain why Alistair looked to be on the verge of tears, and Reyn was looking at me…looking at me like…like she was seeing me for the final time. My eyes burned into her own, trying my hardest to pry the answer from her mind. Reyn stepped forward slowly, stopping before me. A hand moved to caress my face; I did not even care that it was covered in gore. She withdrew her hand after a moment, leaving behind a bloody handprint. A sigh left her beautiful lips, and hit me right in the gut. The tiny sound was filled with an infinite amount of hopelessness. It burned me to my core. Her head bent towards mine, cool breath brushing against my chapped lips. I drowned in her blues that seemed to glow with the very might of the Maker. Lips touched my own; they seemed to ignite a fire in us both. Strong, hardened arms wrapped possessively around my lithe form, holding me tight against the Warden-Commander armor my Warden had donned for the battle. The cold steel chilled me even through my leathers, but I dare not break this kiss. Something about it seemed…final. After what felt like a millennium, Reyn parted from me. "I'm sorry, my love. I wish…I wish this could have been different. Just…just know that I have, and always will, love you. You were the light in my dark; now, I must be the same to Ferelden. Goodbye, sweet Leliana. Be…be happy." With those fierce, emotion-fueled words, my warrior turned her back to me. She ran headlong at the felled dragon, unsheathing her sword and brandishing it aloft. Cold realization tore through me like a bolt of lightning. "NO!" I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow me, rushing after me rapidly disappearing love. Armored arms held me back against a broad chest. Alistair held on tightly to me as I kicked and fought, desperate to catch up to Reyn. "No! Reyn, don't do this! NOOOO!" Reyn let loose a mighty cry, worthy of the Grey Wardens. With a leap that would make a bronto proud, my noble Warden leapt atop the archdemon, plunging Starfang into the crimson side. Bright light erupted around the twitching duo. My heart seized in my chest, stopping for all of a minute. I wanted to scream, but no sound would come out. I was only able to watch in muted horror as Reyn convulsed as if volts of power were being electrocuted throughout her body. Her feet remained firmly planted; she could not love. Her hands were content to grip the hilt of her blade as the dragon thrashed underneath her body. Reyn's face turned towards me, seeking out my eyes. When I met her ethereal blues, she smiled. It was the most beatific, soulful, breathtaking and brilliant thing I had ever seen. It would haunt my dreams in the days to come. With the last vestiges of her willpower, she mouthed the words "I love you" before a huge explosion burst forth, throwing Alistair and myself several feet away. Disoriented, I pulled myself shakily to me feet. I swayed unsteadily for a moment, gathering my bearings. My eyes scanned the area the two were formerly in. The archdemon lay on its side; it was definitely dead. But, there was no sign of my Warden…frantically I searched everywhere with my eyes. My throat constricted when I saw a limp form in the shape of a body lay just a little bit away from the dragon. I recognized the color of her hair and her armor. I ran, dropping to my knees before her. Her body was crumpled, arm bent at an unnatural angle. "Reyn! Reyn…wake up! You have to wake up, you just have to!" I cupped her cheek, trying to rub some warmth into her body. It was getting cold quick. Her beautiful, expressive eyes were closed. A small, peaceful smile was frozen on her cracked lips. The scar on her cheek looked more prominent against her ghastly skin. I thumped her chest, trying to force air into her chest. "Come on; breathe, damn you!" I kept hitting her chest, pressing my lips against hers in order to bring her back to me. It was no use. My Warden, my beloved Reyn…was gone. She had risked her life to save her country, and in the end her sacrifice was what saved it. _

_That day…I could never forget it_. Leliana blinked, warm tears cascading down her pretty face. The pain was still fresh, even though this happened three months ago. She had been inconsolable after Reyn's death, and blacked out once she had finally accepted her warrior was dead. She woke up the next day after being plagued by her love's face everywhere in her dreams. They held a mass funeral for all the brave souls who died fighting; Reyn's was the biggest. The Hero of Ferelden…that was her new moniker. Everybody drank in her name, praised the noble woman for giving them their lives and hope back. None of it helped me though. What can one say when their lover was the one that died for the sake of their homeland? So I remained silent. Poor Alistair; he was just as heartbroken. The man had done everything in his power to try and ease the bard's pain…but it just was never enough. She retreated farther and farther from everyone, becoming a recluse. This had gone on for awhile, until Leliana finally up and left to travel. Her heart was too tarnished to stay in Ferelden. She was going back to Orlais. On the way there, she had stopped at Lake Calenhad. She was content to get lost in her memories of olden times, wishing things could somehow have ended differently.

Unbeknownst to the bard, a pair of eyes was watching her. The eyes belonged to a tall, lithe elf, who had actually been born in an Alienage in Denerim. Her long, thick dark hair fell down her back and lay like a waterfall. The eyes so intent on the reminiscing woman were a stormy grey color. Kallian Tabris had met Leliana back when the bard had aided the Hero of Ferelden in saving the elves from lives of slavery. Kallian had taken a liking to the flame-haired bard, who spoke so beautifully and whose kindness was worn almost like a garment. The elf had developed a bit of a crush on her during their time together, but she respected Reyn too much to try and jeopardize her relationship with Leliana. The late Cousland was an amazing woman, and Kallian was content to let her bask in the happiness with her love. Then…Reyn died. Kallian had watched Leliana break-down, and had followed her out here to hopefully stop her from leaving. The Alienage elf's crush had blown into full-fledged love during the months following the victory/tragedy. She was in love with Leliana, but just wanted to help the grieving woman cope. Romance just was not an option at the moment.

Kallian decided to make her presence known. Deliberately, she stepped on a twig underneath her foot. Leliana's head snapped towards her, hands flying to her belt in search for a sharp dagger. Tabris waved her off, unconcerned with her almost mishap. "Fancy meeting you here, Leli. I guess we both decided Lake Calenhad would be the perfect place to think." A raised eyebrow showed the elf that her words were computed…and not believed. "Really, Kallian? I know you followed me from Redcliffe. The battle did not addle my thoughts." The elf put her hands out in supplication. "I know your reasoning is sound. I am sorry I followed you, but I had to make sure you were okay." Leliana sighed, looking back out at the beautiful blue of the lake, reminding her of the eyes she tried to forget…and remember at the same time. "I hold no ill will towards you my friend. It is just…just hard, you know? I could not stay there in Redcliffe, not when everywhere I look I see her face. There is nowhere I can go here that will not remind me of what I have lost. All I will remember is her." Dark grey eyes looked at her friend sympathetically, feeling her heart clench in her chest.

"I understand. I-I miss her too. I did not know her as long as the rest of you did, but from what little I was able to see her, I bore her great respect. I have never met another woman quite like Reyn Cousland; I doubt any other exist. She…she was one-of-a-kind." "Yes…yes she was. But that is why I must leave; it has been three months, and this pain…it is unbearable. I need to move on, travel around. Reyn asked me to live my life, and I will do so, for her." Kallian looked hard at the bard in front of her. "Where exactly will you go?" Ice blue eyes looked at her companion. "I am not entirely sure. I think I will go back to Orlais. I may travel around a bit first though. Anything to take my mind off of the battle. That is where I was headed to, before I was compelled to come here."

"Compelled?" "Yes; I wish to leave my old life behind, tis sure. But…all my memories, everything Reyn has touched…it is all here, in Ferelden. When I leave…it is all lost to me. Her livelihood, her nobility and kindness…even her body, they all reside here. Where I go they will not follow. This is my way of saying goodbye, and passing on." Understanding shone in the elf's eyes. "I see now. But, Leli: she is with you. In everything you do, any kindness you show to others, it is all Reyn. She may be with the Maker now, but she lives on in you. As you said, she will forever be a part of Ferelden, but she will also be a part of you." A single tear ran down a pale cheek. "I-I had not thought of it like that. Thank you, Kallian. You know, Reyn liked you too. She thought your honesty was a welcome sight. She would have been glad to see Alistair improving the elves' lives. It is what she had always wanted."

"Yes, Shianni will do us well. But, I do not plan on going back to the Alienage. I have already said my goodbyes to my family. They always knew I would leave eventually." "Oh? Where will you go?" The tall woman shyly kicked the ground with a booted foot. "Well…I-I had hoped…maybe, I could travel-with you?" Leliana was taken aback for a moment. Kallian wanted to travel to a foreign country with her? When she was broken as she was and not even close to being a good companion? "Why, Kallian? Why do you want to go with me?" "Because I care about you…you are a good friend and I lo-like being around you. I want to fulfill Reyn's dying wish and make sure you live out your life happy. So, may I please accompany you?" Leliana felt a warmth flood her heart, something that had not happened since it had broken when she had cradled Reyn's dead body in her arms. "I would love to have you along, Kallian Tabris. Orlais better watch out for us!"

The two women shared a laugh. They stayed a moment longer, each saying goodbye to the woman who had changed their lives. Leliana took one last look at the famous lake. She would always love Reyn Cousland, the Warden who had given everything for what was right. The woman was no doubt the vassal of the Maker. There would always be a piece of their love planted solidly in her heart; she would always have her memories of their brief time together. But, as her hand slid gently into Kallian's and she observed the beautiful and shy smile spread across the tan cheeks, maybe she could find that happiness after all. _Be happy_. I will be happy, my love. I will have you beside me every step of the way, no matter how tough things get. _Farewell, Warden Cousland_. The two fighters slowly walked away, hand in hand, until they faded away into the distance. 


End file.
